Once the spring break is over, and the third round of exams starts, it becomes like a hurricane after a sunny day. I notice, all my conversations are around exams. I guess that’s a way in which we, pre-med kids, communicate the best, by relating to our great worries, which sadly happen to be exams. Even during weekends when I am partying, I somehow find myself in conversations about exams. Still more embarrassing would be the way in which I recently approach girls: “Hey, that vertebrate physiology exam was pretty difficult, don’t you think? So, wanna’ get crazy? Let’s dance!” Original are the compliments. Nowadays, Shakespeare is out of fashion; instead one would use: “Your eyes are like a conjugated cyclo-alkane with Pi orbitals in a phase, getting stabilized in resonance!” I know, I know, but hopefully if you take organic chemistry it will make much more sense; in chemistry language it is the equivalent of Shakespearean verse, rather than a nerdy comment.
This pre-med major thing gets me worried whenever we start learning for different diseases. The first thing that I always think is whether I might have that particular disease. I don’t know if I am becoming a hypochondriac, or it’s just a better way to remember all that data, but it sure feels weird. So far in my mind I have experienced things from appendicitis, to schizophrenia, including cancers and other terrible diseases, but in reality all ever became familiar with is shoulder dislocation (and I like to make a big deal about it, by writing in newspaper articles, and being proud of it as if it is some kind of superpower, when introducing myself to girls: “Hey what’s up baby! Wanna’ dislocate my shoulder!?”).
Right now, on my desk I have a book from library (On the Road, by Jack Kerouac) that is four days late. I’m still on page 207, and there are around 100 more pages to go. I’ve been reading this book for almost two months or more now, but I never managed to finish it. I made it a habit to bring the book back, and re-check it again (I did it couple of times now). I don’t now whether it’s because I’m reading like 4 books at once, or maybe because I have lot’s of exams, but I can’t see finishing reading it soon. At this point, one comes in conflict with himself: “Should I return the book and pay the big fine while I still didn’t read it, or I should read the book first before I return it and pay an even bigger fine?” In either case I will end up loosing money.
Does this happen to other people too, or it’s just me? After studying for o-chem exam until 3am, as I walk by the Administration building, I see a piece of chalk on the ground, and the only thing I come up to write is not my name, not a heart, or a catchy phrase, but a chemical reaction for tomorrows exam. If that’s not my brain telling me that it is getting mushy, what is it then?
Did you ever notice that in every subject there is always one certain answer that can somehow be applied to all kinds of questions. In organic chemistry it is: “resonance”, in psychology it is: “bad childhood experience”, in biology its: “enzyme”, in literature it is: “symbolism”, etc. I wish in real life there would be something like that, an answer that can answer all questions. I personally would prefer a simple answer, maybe a number 13. I would make things much easier. Q: How many times did you lie to me? A: 13. Q: What is the meaning of life? A: The number 13. Q: How many movies does your room mate own? A: More than 13. Q: Where’s that party? A: 13th Street. Q: How many bottles of “pop” did you drink tonight? A: 13. Q: What’s your phone number? A: 1313. Q: How much is the fine for your late book? A: $13. Q: How many times did you fake an orgasm? A: 13.